By Sasha H Peterson

There's no sense in beating around the bush, so to speak. I'm not a big fan of landscaping or working out in the yard. I'm outside as often as I get a chance. Don't get me wrong but, I'm no fan of mowing the grass or pruning trees. I'm a man and while there is some logic behind my views on landscaping, this stuff is going to get a little detailed so I hope you hang with me here.

I'm a single guy. I don't even have a steady girlfriend at the moment. I've been married and my wife decided that she liked the company of her mother more so I wished her the best. So, here I am with two acres of what appears to be pretty fertile soil that grows all sorts of green stuff. Mind you, there are no flowers in my yard, unless you count the dandelions that my neighbors say I seem to grow pretty well.

My friendship with most of my neighbors has been a little strange over the past couple of years since I took on this man's view of landscaping. I know where they're coming from. At least two of my immediate neighbors are landscapers by profession so they don't really understand me and I can't say that I understand them too much. They've tried to help out when they felt so moved but these days they have pretty much given up to trying to make me see the light.

Yes, I'm the guy in your neighborhood that is driving down your property values and you don't want your kids trick or treating there or selling cookies or anything for any sort of school fundraiser. You'll rarely see me outside during the summer and I don't rake my leaves and here are the reasons why.

I live in North Carolina. During the summer it's about ten degrees cooler than the sun outside. I'm not getting out there and cutting my grass in that blazing heat. I've had heat stroke before and I consider it a lesson learned and a day lost as I lay on the couch with a raging headache after losing the contents of my stomach. Here's a word to the wise. Don't mow your grass in July at noontime in North Carolina.

While most of the humans that live near me aren't too fond of me during the summer time, the bunnies and various other forms of wildlife love me. They have cover and the whole food chain is exhibited in my front yard. Rabbit and squirrels forage for food while the hawk picks out his brunch from the Bartlett Pear tree that stands dead center in the yard. The deer have cover and sleep in the back yard and when all wildlife has vanished from this neighborhood, I'm sure you'll still find some hold outs in my yard thanks to my form of manly landscaping.

Sure, it would be dandy to have nice flowers in orderly flower beds. I dream of a few ornamental bushes and of pruning the trees instead of just cutting off the limbs that get taken out by the storms that we have here. This is the kicker and the true reason why I hold back on making any changes. There will come a day when some cute, little thing decides that I'm the man for her. When we do get married and she moves in here, she will want to make changes. She will want to mark this place and let every woman that even glances at the house know that she is here. She'll want to get curtains and rugs and new furniture as well as plant flowers and have me make that lawn look like a putting green. I've been there folks and I'm speaking from experience.

For now though, I smile at the rabbits in the yard and say good morning to the deer out back. I cut the grass when the zoning officer threatens me after a neighbor calls and complains and I wait for the day when I marry again and become domesticated again. I wait for my beautiful princess to come here and help me to make this house a home again. Until then I'm ok with the daily company of the wildlife and being that guy that just doesn't understand what landscaping is all about.

About the Author:

blog comments powered by Disqus